tHe OriGiN
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tHe OriGiN

IN THE MID 1980's A STRANGE BEING FELL TO EARTH FROM THE HEAVENS. UPON VIEWING THE STRANGE LAND IT HAD BEEN THRUST INTO, IT WAS APPALLED BY THE STATE OF THINGS (IT WAS THE REAGAN ERA AFTER ALL). IT WAS POVERTY, CRUELTY, GREED AND EXTREMELY POOR GRAMMAR THAT DROVE THE SPACE INVADER TO TRY AND SAVE THE PLANET. WHILE TRYING TO BRING ENLIGHTENMENT AND WISDOM TO THE PEOPLE OF EARTH HE/SHE WAS MET WITH FEAR, HATRED AND CRIES OF, "YEAH... I GOT YER VOODOO MUMBO JUMBO RIGHT HERE PAL." IT WAS ON ONE SUCH OCCASION THAT THE SPACE INVADER WAS CONFRONTED BY A ROWDY FOOTBALL TEAM FROM SOME UNKNOWN HIGH SCHOOL. WHEN THE INVADER TRIED TO INFORM THEM THAT "YOU ALL SUCK THE UNHOLY COCK OF THE LLAMA.", THEY JUMPED THE INVADER AND, WITH THE ELEMENT OF SUPRISE AND AN UNGODLY AMOUNT OF CHIKANERY, BEAT S.I. QUITE SEVERLY. THIS CAUSED THE INVADER TO TAKE IT'S TEACHINGS TO THE UNDERGROUND... LITERALLY.

THE INVADER TOOK REFUGE IN THE REALM OF THE SUB-TERRAINIANS. IT IS RUMOURED THAT IT WAS THE SUB-TERRAINIAN KING, ROTUNDO, HIMSELF THAT OFFERED S.I. SHELTER AND A NEW HOME. AT THIS TIME, THE INVADER BEGAN TO BECOME ENAMOURED WITH THE AMERICAN POPULAR CULTURE OF THE DAY. CARTOONS SUCH AS G.I. JOE, THE TRANSFORMERS, BATTLE OF THE PLANETS, AND HE-MAN FASCINATED S.I... MOVIES SUCH AS TRON, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, SUPERMAN AND THE STAR WARS TRILOGY. ALSO COMIC BOOKS LIKE THE AVENGERS, THE FANTASIC FOUR, X.MEN, SPIDERMAN, THE HULK, AND THE MIGHTY THOR. OF COURSE THERE WERE VIDEO AND ARCADE GAMES THE LIKES OF PAC-MAN, Q-BERT, ASTEROIDS AND CENTIPEDE FOR THE ATARI 2600. ONE VIDEO GAME IN PARTICULAR CAUGHT S.I.'S ATTENTION, THE GAME FROM WHICH HE/SHE DERRIVED IT'S NAME... SPACE INVADERS. S.I. FELT A KINSHIP WITH THESE 4 BIT CREATURES THAT LOOKED REMARKABLY LIKE HIM/HERSELF. THE FACT THAT THESE CREATURES WERE MERCILESS AND EXTREMELY HARD TO CONQUER (MOST PEOPLE COULDN'T GET PAST THE 3RD LEVEL) GAVE S.I. A SENSE OF POWER IT HAD PREVIOUSLY LOST. UPON VIEWING ALL OF THESE BITS OF HUMAN DRAMA S.I. WAS BECOMING INCREASINGLY AWARE OF MANKINDS IDEA OF GOOD VS. EVIL.

NOW THE INVADER REVITALIZED IT'S REVOLUTION. HE/SHE WOULD FIGHT EVIL FROM THE INSIDE. UNDER IT'S NEW MONICKER, THIS ALIEN ENTITY WOULD BECOME A VIRAL AGENT OF CHANGE. THROUGH MUSIC, ART AND LITERATURE, IT WOULD LIVE UP TO IT'S ADOPTED NAME. IT WOULD INFECT THE WAK SYSTEM OF GOVERNANCE THAT IS AMERICA. IT'S BATTLE CRIES WERE NUMEROUS. AMONG THEM WERE, "I URINATE ON YOUR LOVE MACHINES YOU SILLY LITTLE NINJAS!", "I WILL CONQUER YOUR TUPERWARE! PAY HEED TO MY ALL SEEING PANCREAS!", "BEWARE MY HAIRLESS EUNUCHS, PUNY FROGTHINGS!" ALSO THERE WAS, "MY RIGHTEOUS BOTTOM SMIRKS AT YOUR PLATITUDES! YOU AND YOUR DIARHEA SHALL SLEEP AMONG THE KNAPSACKS OF HELL!!."

SO FROM HERE THE SPACE INVADER GAVE THANX TO ROTUNDO FOR HIS HOSPITALITY AND BEGAN THE CRUSADE TO REPLICATE IT'S IDEAS. THERE WERE MANY FISTICUFFS SHENNANIGANS AND DIRTY GOAT WORSHIPERS ENCOUNTERED ON THE ROAD TO TODAY, BUT THAT IS A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME, TRUE BELIEVER. FOR NOW IT IS ENOUGH TO KNOW.... THE INVASION HAD BEGUN.

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